Screwed.edu
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
