she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
