we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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