Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
