Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
