why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
