And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
