i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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