Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
