The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
