is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think your dad took our porno
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
