oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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