that's an acceptable place to lick
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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