Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
