either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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