Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
