so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
