Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
