I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
