I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
