Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
