Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
