I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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