I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
someone owes me an orgasm
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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