I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
