Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
