I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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