If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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