um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
third nipple confirmed
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
