Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
