Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
