Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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