sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
