I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
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