There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
