i just google imaged poop.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
