My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
