he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
