i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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