I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
