last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
