thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
