Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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