Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
