she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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