im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
