Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
