My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You ate ashes out of my bong
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
