I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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