My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
